


Numb

by char1ynch



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bitterness, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-04 21:42:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16797610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/char1ynch/pseuds/char1ynch
Summary: Addy felt nothing, until she met George.





	Numb

**Author's Note:**

> fuck I really am their whore huh.. anyways, this is a huge concept that I'm hoping that they will somehow make a reality in the show(though with the appearance of yet ANOTHER new love interest for my bbg addy, they probably won't be canon😠)

Addison Carver hadn’t felt anything in a very long time. Since she had lost Lucy, the person she thought understood her most in the world, she had been a ghost of her former self. She was lonely, she craved any form of emotion, but no matter what she did, she still felt that numbness in her chest, that black hole that was now her soul. To pass the empty days that now filled her life, she began to help Talkers reach refuge in a place called Limbo, where she knew that they would be safe no matter what. She didn’t know that this path would redirect her back to her old team, Operation Bitemark as they were formerly known as, and in a way, she was relieved. That relief was short lived however, when she was introduced to the appointed leader of Newmerica, George, who she felt replaced by. She wanted to cry, or even scream at the woman she had once thought of as a sister, but all she could do was drink, in an attempt to drown out the buried frustrations and sadness she knew were lurking around somewhere inside of her. 

“Hey.” She heard a voice come from next to her and she turned to see George, who was attached to Warren at the hip, standing a few inches away from where she was sitting. She turned back to the cup sitting in front of her and she downed what was left and averted her attention back to the girl, who looked nervous.

“Do you need something?” Her words came out sharper than she intended them to so she bit her tongue and cleared her throat, mumbling an apology without meeting her eyes. But she only shrugged as she captured the barstool next to her. 

“I know you’re not comfortable with me yet, and that’s okay, but I need to know where Dante is. I won’t let him get hurt, I would give up my life and more for him, but I can’t protect him if I don’t know where he is.” Her words were gentle spoken, and she had a look of determination across her nearly perfect features, but she was still hesitant. She didn’t care about the talkers, not like George did, but she cared about the former lieutenant, and she didn’t want to see him hurt or worse because of the leader’s recklessness. 

“You’re right, I’m not comfortable with you, so shove off.” The words were out before she could stop them and she felt a pang of an emotion she couldn’t decipher yet in her core, but the words couldn’t be taken back so she requested another drink and sipped it slowly, hoping she would go away. However, she still sat there, watching her from the corner of her eye. The redhead was all for subtly, but the black haired girl sitting next to her didn’t know the definition, apparently.

“Look, I get you care about them, but you can’t shelter them forever. The vigilantes will find them eventually. If you want everyone to walk away from this with their lives, then you have to give me their location.” Her voice was still gentle towards her, but it now had a frustrated edge mingling with it, and she was taken aback to say the least. She wanted to trust her, she really did, but she felt as if she couldn’t trust anyone anymore, not even the universe. 

“They die with you, they die without you, I don’t see anyone, especially them, walking away from this.” She finished her last drink and slammed the glass on the countertop, rising from her seat and going to walk away, but the hand on her wrist stopped her. Her skin burned where George’s fingers met and she swallowed thickly before looking up at the girl, who had an unreadable expression on her face. She felt her chest tighten up at the contact and she wanted to say something, anything, but her throat had closed up and she found getting words out to be impossible for her. She looked down at her hand, which was still firmly wrapped around her pale wrist, and she let go, stepping back with flushed cheeks and a grimace.

“I’m sorry for overstepping. But this is important to me.” She said quietly, her eyes glued to the dirty floor underneath their feet. When she saw tears begin to pool in her eyes, she caved. She didn’t like feeling remorseful for anything she did these days, but with her, she felt that compassionate feeling and even more. She barely knew the girl, but she already began to get flickers of emotions back, and she was scared of that. They went to collect Warren and then she led them outside, where she got into a screaming match with the older woman, admitting the jealousy she had been feeling over George becoming her second, when that spot had always belonged to her. She knocked on the rocks around their feet and he emerged from the dirt, the shorter girl immediately rushing to his side for a quick reunion. She looked at the smile on her face and she felt warmth spread through her veins, which confused her in more ways than one. She shook her hand and walked over to the pair, her hand fisting the material of her jacket between her hand, slightly yanking her away from the talker to be able to discuss the deal in semi private. 

“Promise me, right now, that you will not hand him over to Altura.” Her voice wobbled slightly and she crossed her arms across her stomach, trying not to let her emotions seep through the facade that she had been successfully keeping up for months until she met the shorter female, who was testing her without any knowledge whatsoever. 

“I promise.” She swore, holding out her hand to the redhead. Their hands gripped one anothers and the warmth reached down to the bottom of her toes as they shook on the deal, sharing one more look before she retreated back to Warren’s side, who gave her a small encouraging smile. She tried to swallow these new emotions, tried to bury them deep inside of her once again, but when she looked over at the younger girl smiling at something Dante said, she decided that swallowing the emotions wasn’t worth it, if she never felt that warmth again when she saw her smile or the fire that engulfed her skin whenever they touched.

“You coming?” She heard her former leader say to her, and she shook her head and nodded, stepping over discarded cigarettes butts and sharp rocks to rejoin the group. As she was going inside, she allowed a smile to spread across her face, and that, was only the beautiful new beginning for the damaged and lonely redhead.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are, as always, greatly appreciated. 💗


End file.
